Law and Order: Except for Corporations

It's funny. You'd think that the party that supports the death penalty for retarded criminals and thinks locking up pot dealers for 30 years is a wise idea would be okay with asking the corporate world to follow a few rules.

Apparently not.

At every turn, republicans cry about regulation. How can businesses compete with all these regulations! You're strangling the free market! It's just not fair!

How about being a fucking adult and following some rules like the rest of us?

We don't get to kill people, businesses don't get to create products that maim children. We don't get to punch people in the face, businesses don't get to screw over poor people with abusive loan practices. We don't get to piss in public, business don't get to dump poison into the water system.

Seems quite fair, really. And it seems like the kind of shit that conservatives would be all for, given how much they seem to love telling people what to do and how to live their lives.

But apparently the same rules don't apply to our corporate friends. They should be free to shit all over the damn country and fuck anyone they want. Otherwise they won't be able to create jobs for those same people they just fucked and shit on.

The solution seems simple. We should all establish ourselves as corporations. Then, we'd all be able to do whatever the hell we want, with no consequences.

We might even get a bailout too.