Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Mega Morons

Okay, first let me come clean and admit that whenever the mega millions jackpot goes over 100 million, I buy tickets.

To put it another way, I am a complete and utter idiot.

How else can you explain the need to waste 5 bucks on tickets for something that will never, ever, ever provide me with any value?

Before you go and pull the old "but you gotta be in it to win it" nonsense, let's do a quick reality check. The odds of winning mega millions are about 1 in 176,000,000. Take a good look at all those zeroes, because that's the number that represents your real chance of winning.

As a point of comparison, your odds of being killed by falling airplane parts are 1 in 10,000,000. Yet, I don't see people rushing out to buy helmets. Your odds of dying from choking are about 1 in 370,000. But this doesn't seem to stop people from shoving McNuggets down their throats faster than Mickey Dee's can pump 'em out.

You actually have a better chance of just about anything happening to you than you do of winning the mega millions. Odds of becoming a saint? 1 in 20,000,000. Odds of winning an academy award? 1 in 11,000. Odds of dating a supermodel? 1 in 88,000.

Oddly enough, the one thing that is actually less likely than winning the mega millions? Dying from shark attack, which comes in at about 1 in 300,000,000. And yet people around the world can't get the theme song from Jaws out of their heads when they are within 5 miles of the ocean. Myself included.


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