Tuesday, November 9, 2010

It's all natural to me

Ever hear someone say they love nature or things that are ‘all natural’? 

Take chemicals for instance. People say ‘i won’t eat that, it’s filled with chemicals”. Wanna know what I say to those people? Chemicals are delicous.

And as far as I’m concerned they’re as ‘natural’ as homemade apple pie or a baby snow leopard's foreskin. Why? Because everything that went into making that shit came from the earth somewhere. Including the scientist who mixed it all up in a lab. So why the fuck isn’t he natural? 

And what about people who hate cities because they want to be near nature? Guess what? The city is nature. We built it. We’re part of this planet. It’s nature. And quite frankly we’re a lot better at building shit than any creature you’ll find in the damn woods. You wanna hang out in a bird’s nest? Go for it. You wanna sit and admire a dam that some hairy ass beaver created? Have fun. 

Me? I’ll be sitting in a nice air conditioned restaurant eating chemically enhanced food, served by women with fake breasts. And loving every minute of it. 

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