Free to be a selfish prick

So the damn government wants to force me to buy health insurance, huh? Some nerve those Washington bureaucrats have. Asking me to be a responsible adult. It's an outrage! If I want to fly by the seat of my pants and never see a doctor until I get my cock caught in the rototiller, then who the fuck is Uncle Sam to tell me otherwise?

Sure, I don't expect to pay full price when I drag my mutilated junk into the ER. This is America, we don't pay full price for anything here. As long as I'm not no god-danged Mexican or something, I've earned the right to get my unit sewn up on the cheap. But forcing me to by insurance? That ain't right. What if I never get my dick stuck in anything? Then I've gone and wasted thousands of dollars just so some other dillweed can get his prostate checked on a regular basis? Sounds pretty gay if you ask me.

Thank the good lord we've got some decent folks in Washington who are trying to make sure this obamacare commie nonsense never sees the light of day. In fact, a good judge up in Virginia was kind enough to see things my way on the whole making me buy insurance crap. Nice to know some folks got their heads on straight.

Now, if you'll 'scuse me, I gotta go to the ER and get my nut sack untangled from the weed whacker. Again.