It's never a good idea to compare anything to slavery. Ever. But that didn't stop GOP congressman Rand Paul yesterday.
So what, pray tell, did he think worthy of the comparison? It must be really, really bad, right? He wouldn't just trot out the old "it's like slavery" speech for something as mundane as the right to adequate healthcare, would he?
Oh yes he would. And yes he did.
There are two fundamental reasons why this comparison is fucking insane.
One, it is absurdly offensive. To compare the plight of a well-compensated doctor to that of a slave who is forced to toil every day for no money, under constant threat of being whipped and without even the most basic of freedoms shows a staggering amount of ignorance.
Secondly, it is just flat out wrong. If healthcare were indeed declared a right, no one would be 'forced' to care for anyone. You could still choose to crank out LASIK surgeries for Kentucky's wealthiest myopics (Paul is an Ophthalmologist) if you so wish. But, if you did decide to work in a federally funded community health center, yes, you would have to care for any patient who walked in the door. As a doctor, I would think this would feel more like "doing your job" versus "being a slave", but hey, I just work in advertising so what the fuck do I know?
No one forced you to become a doctor, dickhead. Nobody grabbed you in the middle of the night, chained you to a disease infested ship and sent you off to some strange land. You don't fear for your life when you travel beyond the boundaries of your workplace. You don't worry that a mob of bigots will come by your home one night and hang your entire family. You don't fear that your wife will be raped by your 'boss' any time he fucking wants. And you don't have to stand around acting like none of that shit bothers you day in and day out, year after soul-sucking year, because god forbid you do show one ounce of disgust, you might just be taken out back to receive the beating of your life.
No, cocksucker, you are not a fucking slave. You're a pathetic, hateful idiot with no concept of our nation's horrific racial history. And for that, you have earned the 'right' to be called "Douche of the Day."
Although, honestly, one day just doesn't quite feel long enough for your special brand of douchebaggery.